Baby, it's 3AM I must be lonely.

"She says it's cold outside and she hands me my rain coat. 
She's always worried about things like that.
She says it's all gonna end and it may as well be my fault.                                                    She only sleeps when it's raining. She screams, and her voice is straining. 
She says 'Baby, it's 3AM I must be lonely. And I'm so scared of it all sometimes, the rain's gonna wash away what I believe in"
_3AM, Matchbox Twenty, (lyrics typed from memory) 

My alarm clock went off at 3AM this morning. Never intentionally woke up this early before.
Stayed up? Sure.

Driving through the "mountains" this morning. Really excited to catch a sunrise.

Upon entering the kitchen for coffee, (at 3AM, mind you), I run into this conversation between my 9 year old sister, Nica, and my 15 year old brother Sam.

"Who wouldn't want the Hobbit News app on their iPod?" Sam exclaimed, as he bent over the glowing screen of his macbook with an incredulous look on his face.

Nica twirled her blond hair, and crinkled her nose. "I wouldn't"

Enter me, doing that thing guys do with their head when they think that they are too cool to actually say hello. That little head nod, eyes half closed. Go over. Get coffee.

Sam sighs, punching keys on his laptop. "You are not my sister"

"Hey, I don't have Hobbit News on my phone, so I guess you're down another sister"
I said.

He rolls his eyes.

"Let me guess, Trey wouldn't want it either. So now I'm sister-less"

"Probably true" I consented. I feel too awake already. "Luke would probably find that ridiculous, so you're losing siblings left and right this morning. In fact, at last count, you're now an only child. How does it feel to be an only child?" I added before walking out of the room.

Just your typical Thursday morning in my family.

My friend Emma (who has a blog, which I can link, only if you're into anarchism and/or extreme homeschooling, or other non-typical teenagery stuff. Because otherwise you'd be blown out of the water) started reading The Fault In Our Stars last night. And we were texting back and forth, until the last I heard, she was tearing up at the fifth chapter. So now I'm giving her mourning space. I was such a wreck when I finished that book late one night.
Heartbroken. But for anyone in that post-TFiOS haze, I promise that in a week or so after you've finished it, you'll be able to see it as one of the most beautiful books you've ever read, heartbreak aside.

Lately it seems like I've been crazy to live.
Wonderful feeling, having something excite you, to be inspired, to feel passionate.
I took apart one of my favorite childhood songs, and remastered it.

Katie recently explained that she loved learned but not so much school. I've been really thinking about that lately. Why do people go to school if not to learn? And yet, how much actual learning is accomplished in school? How much better is it to learn about things that you love? About things that you'll remember? It's seems a little strange that so many people spend so much time cramming information that they'll never use again into their brains.

I'm really grateful for my friends. While I've never been the girl with millions of friends, I still have a handful of friendships that I'd be lost without. Going through a little of a hard time this week when I felt cheated, and my friends were adorably indignant for my sake.

I really need to go get in the car, because we have to leave now.

Have a lovely weekend.


  1. Those with a million friends wish they had a few close ones and those with a few want more. Grass is never greener, it's always more or less yellowy. And when our shallow longings and depressing desires disapparate, we are either filled with intrinsic peace or the wisps of evading pleasure leaving emptiness its wake. Depends on where your heart is.

    I think school builds basic skills which can be applied in other fields and adapted to various uses. You just have to throw all the crap back out that's thrown at you.

    Hope it was a beautiful sunrise =)

  2. It's so cool you went to watch the sunrise!
    Friends are forever important.
    Your siblings sound so silly. Love the witty banter!

  3. you should send me the link to Emma's blog. us homeschoolers need to stick together. I think that's the reason I love my business class so much: we learn.


"Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole"
_Adam Duritz

I love hearing things that aren't my own pathetic echoes.