Jillian, Nine months
I watched a video of myself as a baby yesterday.
It made me happy.
Happy because I know that
I wasn't always this messed up.

I want to slide through the screen, and become that baby again. Before I knew.
I feel such love for that baby version of myself.
She was me. I am her.
I miss her.


  1. I felt the same way when I flipped through my baby pictures the other day. I miss the little innocent girl that has my eyes that I see in the pictures. The girl that had no care in the world and could smile just because she was happy with life, not because someone approved her to feel that way.

    For some reason, I'm upset because I haven't seen ANY of your last three or four posts in my blog update box, and I would have commented on them if I did! D: But now I will make sure to check in more often [if that's okay, of course]. :]

  2. Oh man, do you have ANY idea as to how much this describes my feelings right now?

  3. ME BABY!
    Gosh, I was cute.

    I think everyone wishes they could be that innocent.

    The world hits you hard when you get older, things start to frustrate you, you get hurt, you fall in love with the wrong people, you're friends are people who you have to choose, not some kids of your Mom's friends. It gets so complicated.

  4. Oh man, just a few months ago I watched some long-lost 8mm tapes of myself when I was 5.

    It was so strange knowing that it was ME, light-up-sneakers clad with a high-pitched voice I didn't even know I had.


"Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole"
_Adam Duritz

I love hearing things that aren't my own pathetic echoes.