My life is like a roller coaster! And I am currently upside down....

Wow, it's been one of those weeks.
You know those weeks.

The ones where so many things go right, and so many things go wrong, and it leaves your head in a total spin.


Tuesday was a good day, I guess. I had piano, went out to eat, then I went to this thing at the church we've been attending.
Okay, the kids there are not very friendly at all. They are even hedging on mean. I never knew what that Casting Crowns song meant, when it said:

"It's crowded in worship today, as she slips in. Trying to fade into the faces. The girls teasing, laughter is carrying, farther than they know, farther than they know"

but now I get it.

So, Tuesday, I caught them doing something they shouldn't be doing. They we're picking the lock on the supply closet, which I knew would only lead to more trouble. "They" is referring to the core not-so-nice-almost-mean kids; there are about 5 or 6 of "them". 
Usually, I would try my best to keep up my "new girl" persona, but I was really ticked off that church kids were doing this, and no one was stopping them. I mean, c'mon, they were my age!

So, yeah. Cayden came out, Jillian ran away (don't try to understand this, it's one of those things that only Emj gets).

"You know guys, you really shouldn't be doing this" I said, after marching up to them. I can be pretty intimidating when I want to. Well, at least as intimidating as a 5'3" girl can get.
They all gave me blank stares, so I gave a confident grin, and turned and walked away.

"What the heck?" "She is such a loser" (that was coming from a girl named Lia, who really gets to me, but I guess that's cos I let her), "OMG, she is weird".

I didn't care. And I told them so. And I felt so good, like I was on top of the world.

And I met this girl Kelli, who is nice. I mean, we're not a perfect click, but still, any ally is worth it.

But at the same time, I felt so sad, because I (Cayden :) never had to do this before.
I missed my old friends, who didn't think I was some sort of freak. Who loved me the way I am.
I missed them a lot.

Gee, this is my blog, and you already know I'm nuts, so I might as well prove it.
I'll tell you about Cayden.

I am Cayden, you could say. But, sometimes, when I have to do something brave, I become another person. Jillian isn't confident. Jillian is afraid. So every time a situation arrives, I become another person. A stronger version of Jillian. And I named this mood, this trait, Cayden. So yeah, call the shrinks. I really don't care. Cayden has helped me a lot.

Oh, I can't believe I told you all about that.

Then on Wednesday morning, my Mom came into my room, and said "We're going to the college" so I stumbled out of bed, and took a shower. We had to be there by 9, and Wednesday is the only day I have off of school, so I usually sleep in. But I didn't mind.

You see, my adopted aunt, is going to CBC, which is a local college. And they have a program, where you can bring guests in for courses. I love taking courses, and tagging along with her.
It's so interesting! And a definite plus is that some of my friends go there. Meaghan, Rebecca, Drew, Rachel, Abby, Anna. We all range from 15-20, and they are the kids that used to go to my  church, before we started going to the ice cube church.
 At least I'm not the youngest, Meaghan is. But, she is 15 too, so it doesn't make a lot of difference.

But, I got a chance to talk to Anna, (Hi Anna!!!) and she told me she reads my blog, which is SO cool!! I didn't even tell most of my friends, but somehow she found it, and I think that it's very cool. Sorry Anna, I always wanted to get around to talking to you more, but I'm glad we were able to talk a bit!

Other than those things, I had a pretty regular week. I went skating today. Skateboarding that is. Just incase you don't know me to well, skating almost always means skateboarding.

I had a tiny thing that I had to tell Emma, cos it was kind of weighing me down. I have to tell you, if you keep something unsaid, it really wears down on you. So, just say it. Honesty IS the best policy.

OH! And I got a new follower, and her name is Jillian Cecilia!! I'm Jillian Christine, they are kind of similar sounding. Wow, so I'm NOT the only Jillian on blogger!!
Hey Jillian!

Peace Out!
Jillian Christine 



  1. Hi again! lol...we r very special...our name is spelt with a J not a should chat on ur chat box or mine...i like ur blog lots!

  2. my email is if u dont come back to the chat thing and u want to email me!

  3. i already said this but it is not showing so i will say it email is if u ont come back to the chat thing and u wanna email me!

  4. Hmm.. well I kinda skipped around a lot in the post, but I eventually read the entire thing. Very interesting. I won't try to understand Cayden, but I hope things go better for you. :)

  5. Yeah, life is like that. It's disappointing that people do bad stuff but I'm glad that you stood up :) It's pretty cool that you can become someone else to stay strong. :) It's good that you depend on GOD too. I've looked a bit into colleges but not much. Hope you had fun :) Keep depending on GOD :)

  6. omg that is sooo funny.
    yesterday when I was talking on skype with gracie, we kept on talking like them...XD!

    Oh fun!


  7. Hey! :)

    You commented on someone's blog and I just click on your name... that's how I found your blog. haha


"Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole"
_Adam Duritz

I love hearing things that aren't my own pathetic echoes.