I think maybe I might be falling

I hate being the new kid.
I know everyone says that.
But I mean it.

For the first time in my life, I had a place where I fit in.
Where they accepted me for who I am, not who I pretended to be.
 Where I could say something, and people would listen, and not just roll their eyes. 
Where we all loved the same kind of things, and when we talked, we would get SO excited, about, say Relient k's new EP, or winning our last soccer game, or snow, or going camping, or Mac school.
 We would compare everything. ( Mark and I used to have this big discussion over which was a better Relient k CD;  "mmhmm"  vs. "Five Score And Seven Years Ago") 

I didn't have to change a thing about me.

But we had to go, had to leave.

And that's all over. All I am getting are cold stares from kids who don't care.
If I want to be their friends, I have to change myself.
And I won't change a thing in my life for some friends that I will have to leave at some time or another.
It's either me, all me, or we're not friends. Understood?
I am happy as I am. I don't want to be like you, I don't want to look like you, I don't want to talk about what you talk about. I am Jillian Christine.

But, today, for once I will try. If you guys push me away, I won't try again. 
I will be nice, but that is only if you don't change me into a robot.
Period.


10 comments:

  1. Wow I understand being the New Kid can suck especially if you have to change who u are. I am glad ur not changing who u are. I am sure u'll het thru this. Ur a strong person
    I hope u check out my blog as well and tell me what u think.
    Yerika
    Know's ur a strong person

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  2. Wow, that has to be tough. I've never had to be in that situation but I know it wouldn't be pleasant at all. I'm really glad to see that you're not willing to compromise who you are. And who knows, maybe someone will see that and say "wow she's true to who she is... why can't I be like that?". God can work in some pretty amazing ways! Anyway, I hope things get better for you.

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  3. Hey!!!

    Its me check out my blog:

    mrtuwannabe.blogspot.com
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey thanks for following my blog and joining me in my hate of sunday. trust me -- if you knew her, you'd hate her as unconditionally as i do.
    by the way, your blog is cool. and sorry about your situation. serious.
    best of luck

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  5. im following him now, and dont worry i wont :D

    _handprint_

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  6. Wow....cool blog ^_^ I like ur posts...come check out my blog.

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  7. i totally get where you're coming from to a point. because beyond that point is the place where all your little issues come into play and make your situation different than mine was. but overall, i understand your issue...to that point.

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  8. Thanks 4 getting me started jill.

    YOU ROCK!!!
    I don't want to sign in so it is from Michael k?

    love,
    M

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  9. Hi!
    I know. It totally sucks to be the new kid !
    How have you been ? It's been ages since you dropped by my blog!

    ReplyDelete

"Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole"
_Adam Duritz

I love hearing things that aren't my own pathetic echoes.