Photographs, randomness, Amsterdam, disappointment, personality typing and whatnot

One Tuesday night a few weeks ago I found myself in a dusty convince store on the fringes of Chicago. You know the sort, with dusty linoleum, flickering florescent lights, and items that have no apparent uses on the shelves.

The weirdest thing happened while I was shuffling down the aisle in search of a water bottle. This song came on. An old one. And instantly a face appeared in my mind. Crazy how that works. Then I saw a can of Monster on the shelf, the super huge type, and another face popped into my head, causing a grin to appear on my face. (Because truly, how many non-hilarious memories have to do with super sized cans of Monster?).
In that moment I realized that I associate objects, songs, colors, with people. It's strange.
So during a lecture at this very old college that I had the honor of taking an economics course at, I scribbled down things that reminded me of various people. I love these lists. They're little glimpses of people.

The song Amsterdam is really special. Why? You might ask? Because I love it.
And THAT is what my best friend would call my textbook display of narcism.
I just read an interview with the person this song reminds me of.

Disapointment is something I've had to deal with my whole life, but a lot today. Such a self centered human, I am. (Hello Yoda-Jillian). But really, even now that I am a month away from my eighteenth birthday, I still have to choke down tears and just get over things. I'll admit, it's hard. Especially something you've looked forward to for awhile. Many people are great at not getting their hopes up, unfortunately, I'm not one of them. What an awful, stinging feeling.

Spent over half my childhood in this old Chicago home.

But yeah! Really, it's March 15th now, so I have less than a month till I'm an ADULT.
(Errr, I remember expressing how irksome I found it when people said AD-ult, and then CoCo piped up from her much superior looking sketch that she said it like that. :P I remember too much. I should probably make a list of people who I know IRL's blogs....)
Part of growing up would probably mean that I should be sleeping instead of writing, and head banging to Weezer at 12:05 AM.

This picture shows craziness behind those eyes. I like that.
Recently for a school project, and because my friend has been obsessed with this for awhile (I get it now) I've been reading up a lot on personality typing. It's fascinating, especially the Myer-Briggs typing. To figure out their system, they have a wealth of info on their site, explaining the meanings behind all the seemingly random letters. I'm an INFJ, my best friends are (in all estimation) INTP, ENFP and ESTJ, crush is a ESFP, and my little brother is a INTP, and sister is a ISTJ. Seriously, if you're into this, I'd love to hear what types you feel that you relate to.

Went to a dance in a college gymnasium last weekend. It was a lot of fun. A bit awkward when dancing with a guy you vaguely know, but you get over it quickly. Love the rosy faces, the jumpy music, the crowds of wallflowers, the gym floor under my nylon-ed feet.
Definite repeat. See, homeschoolers don't really miss all that much, do we?
I guess we aren't stuck on a bus, or get to experience the great social hierarchy known as the cafeteria, but maybe we'll survive.

I think I've made it to the end. Hope you like the pictures. Some of them were taken with my Dad's new medical camera, and it has a beautiful macro lens.


  1. Cool pictures! Your beautiful ;) thanks for your sweet comments on my blog! they mean a lot to me!


  2. Thank you and thank you and no problem.
    I mean them :)

  3. Your old Chicago home looks awesome. It's brings on some mad nostalgia for me. :)
    Also, I giggled at your mention. <3
    Being an AD-ult isn't as different or interesting or anything as you'd think, but rather, every moment is what you make of it, so live without regret. I spent too much time dreaming about what I would do by whatever arbitrary deadline, and not nearly enough time spent on DOING those things. Harness your youth, embrace those faces and visions, and create the things you're so inclined/inspired to.

    Also, I'm an INTP. <3

  4. I'm an INTP. :] The pictures were lovely! An interesting post.

  5. CoCo:
    I know, I know... Youth is wasted on the young. I have no misconceptions that my eighteenth birthday will magically change my life, but it's a strange thought nonetheless. I'm attempting to carpe the hell out of diem. <3 those crazy art class convos...

    Alloquy: I know so many INTPs! Thank you, I just like messing with my camera.

  6. Aww, you are so beautiful!

    1. Aww, thank you..... Not everyday though, and definitely not on the inside all the time.
      But I appreciate it <3

  7. Love all the pictures! And hmm, my friend has a tumblr and he named it INTP. So I think that's what he is! Hahah, I did it once a long time ago so you make me want to do it now, I'll do it, and then make a post on it!

    Parties are fun once you sort of let go, and like just have fun. :)
    And I get you, I get so pumped for stuff and sometimes it doesn't even happen! Sucks, yo.

    1. Thanks! Ha, you should do that!
      I think it's probably a safe bet that your friend is an INTP :)

      Right? Parties aren't fun if you're worried what people think every second.

      Gosh, being the sort of person who hypes yourself up for EVERYTHING can be such a letdown.

  8. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog :D

    And thanks for reading it too <3

    I am a lot happier and I'm glad you noticed Jill :] You're so sweet ^_~

    1. I love reading people's blogs years later and finding out that they are at a better place in their life than they once were. It's really encouraging.

      So, no problem <3 I'll keep reading when I can.

  9. I stayed up until two last night, crying and talking and laughing on the phone. When I finally went to bed, I realized that what started out as listening to Amsterdam on Spotify led to at least six other albums. So thanks for all the good music :)

    ps. love the pictures. it's so fun to see a visual update on your life.

    1. I definitely maybe posted that because I knew you'd like it.... And because it was part of my own stay-up-to-two-with-crazy-random-emotions-night.

      I've been trying to take more photos lately, inspired by more photo journalistic blogs.
      Feeling bad for that apple, because I left it out after playing with it, and isnt as pretty.
      Skype sometime?


    2. ahh that's awesome. it makes me happy when people associate amsterdam with me.

      that's a good thing. I've been slacking off with writing and photographing, not just for blog stuff. ha. I hate it when that happens.

      yes please! and if you ever wanna text me, I'll email you my phone number.


  10. I love the number of photos you have in your posts. Keeps it interesting.
    I'm an INTP, but I often relate to ENFP and INFP.
    Going through a bit of a typing obsession at the moment.
    I just realized how old this post was but I wrote the comment already so I'll just choose to appear stalkerish.


    (Followed! :) )

    1. (Thanks, Followed back!)

      Ah, typing kicks are so obsessive. i want to take a few personality psych classes in college.

      A lot of my posts are somewhat vintage, so don't worry about it :P


"Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole"
_Adam Duritz

I love hearing things that aren't my own pathetic echoes.